The subtle art of Compliments.
A compliment is an expression of esteem, respect, affection or admiration.
Contrary to what some people erroneously assume to be merely fancy gestures, inundated with flirtatious or sexual undertones, a compliment is actually a formal and respectful recognition of honour.
Compliments are supposed to be one of the most refined introductions into any conversation you're having with people across all ladders, and the doctrine of easing one's self into the dynamics of its verbiage, requires both the practicing and understanding of its essential elements.
In formal settings like during interviews, or with people superior to you, throwing in timely compliments gives you immediate command of the environment without taking away the power from the conversation-starter (the subject in context: The Interviewer or superior/inferior person).
It channels a subsconscious awareness that you exude a confidence that will NOT intimidate the aura of the people around you. In fact, if you really want to win with a great many people, you must know how to be tactful with Compliments.
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The best compliments are often concise, surgical, and drawn from immediate objects in your purview.
It requires keen [but quick] observations, as well as the uncanny ability to exercise your 'immediate recall' memory.
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A quick digress on how to train your immediate recall:
● When you meet someone for the first time and they tell you their name, learn to mention that name twice in the next 20 seconds of your subsequent conversations with them.
Wanna try?
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In reality, no true compliment is natural:
𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘥.
Then you go on to drop it like bombs, while keeping an alluring demeanour and the captivating mirage that it had come naturally to you.
A compliment that will guarantee you instant rapport with nearly anybody in life, consists of 4 very simple elements:
1. Salutation
2. Common greeting
3. Compliment
4. Self-deprecating humour.
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— Salutation:
"Hello Sir." "Hello Ma'am."
Treat yourself as lower in Rank to whoever you are meeting for the first time.
People are instantly attracted to people who magnify the respect they show for them.
Simple. Respectful. Works like a charm.
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— Common greeting:
"Good to see you," "Pleased to meet you," "Happy to join you all."
It's called 'common' because it passes for everyday verbiage.
However, your previously accorded respect in the salutation literally turns what is common into something extraterrestrial.
It's the blitz of reverse human psychology!
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— Compliment:
"Nice Suit." "I love your Tie." "Your hair is gorgeous." "Great Boots!"
Find something quick on their person. Then blow it up.
I try to avoid talking about colognes or how people smell most times for two reasons:
a) It may come up as embarrassing or uncomfortable to them.
b) You might get tempted to ask about the name of the cologne and if they don't know, the awkward follow-up conversations may leave you shot in the foot.
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— Self-deprecating humour:
"How are you able to pull up this swag with a Tie, and I can't?"
"How is it you get away with a Tan suit and I don't? (Obama uses this line on Nate Burleson).
"How are you able wing it with the boots — I never seem to get it when I try"
"Gosh! How can I keep Locs as immaculate as yours?"
"Please link me with your hair/dress plug."
Essentially, '𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵?'
This is the most important element of a compliment.
It's a form of Pseudo-learned Helplessness."
Demonstrating Pseudo-learned Helplessness gives one a charismatic visage that releases the endorphins of the people being conversed with.
It gives creates a delusion of ease, and makes these people want to see you again.
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People want to feel good about themselves.
They need to feel good about themselves.
Your compliment affords you a luxury of giving them that superhuman feeling at zero financial cost.
If this happens in an interview, you’ve already put yourself in their consideration list.
And if it’s a date, you’ve scored.
© 03.07.2023.
